Bank Holiday Madlib.

If you find yourself too filled with rage and dismay reading President Bush's Veterans Day speech in Tobyhanna (login required), fear not, because I have the solution for all your woes.

Presidential Speech Madlibs! The idea is simple, but indebted to The Sony Boycott Blog for its origin. All you need to do to play is to provide a list of words to fit the following categories:

1. [group of people]
2. [another group of people]
3. [a different group of people]
4. [ideology or system of beliefs]
5. [noun, modified if you like]
6. [region]
7. [principle or idea or feeling]
8. [another principle or idea or feeling]
9. [plural noun]
10. [adjective]
11. [celebrity]
12. [another celebrity]
13. [place]
14. [celebrity]
15. [profession]
16. [celebrity surname]
17. [current-events-related noun]
18. [another current-events-related noun]
19. [same place as #13]
20. [name for a group of people]
21. [well-detailed action, using a verb in the infinitive]
22. [another well-detailed action, using an -ing verb]
23. [same place as #13]
24. [noun]
25. [noun]

OK! Now we're ready to play! Simply insert your twenty-five results into the blanks I have provided in an abridged version of our Commander-in-Chief's speech!

You will find the version with the blanks open at the bottom of this post, but here is what the PP came up with:

Some call this evil Jedi knights, others steroid-using ballplayers, and still others evangelical Christians. Whatever it's called, this ideology is very different from existentialism.

First, these extremists want to end American and Western dirty socks in the Milky Way, because we stand for rage and fraternité and stand in the way of their earmuffs.

And the shiny, happy world knows very well that other fanatics in history, from Hitler to Stradivarius to Jacques Monod, consumed whole nations in war and genocide before leaving the stage of history.

This week, the government of Mt. Everest took two disturbing steps. First, it arrested God for serving as a masseuse. Then President Rumpelstilskin delivered a strident speech that attacked both the majority whip and the failed presidency.

The government of Mt. Everest must do what Manchester United has demanded: unclog the jammed-up copy machine, and stop riding other drivers’ asses and flashing their lights like a chucklehead.

The government of Mt. Everest must stop exporting Birkenstocks and start importing long-haul truck drivers.

THE MADLIB YOU CAN PLAY YOURSELF

Some call this evil [1], others [2] and still others [3]. Whatever it's called, this ideology is very different from [4].

First, these extremists want to end American and Western [5] in [6], because we stand for [7] and [8] and stand in the way of their [9].

And the [10] world knows very well that other fanatics in history, from Hitler to [11] to [12], consumed whole nations in war and genocide before leaving the stage of history.

This week, the government of [13] took two disturbing steps. First, it arrested [14] for serving as [15]. Then President [16] delivered a strident speech that attacked both the [17] and the [18].

The government of [19] must do what [20] has demanded: [21], and stop [22].

The government of [23] must stop exporting [24] and start importing [25].

And don't say I never gave you nothing!