Saturday, November 17, 2007


You might recall that a week or so ago, I was declared an asshat by the Oracle of Starbucks. I told my friend about it, and he wondered about what precisely an asshat is.

Incidentally, this is my same friend who requested the Ducks hat, which I have recently finished. Here it is:

Not wanting to disappoint, I consulted the Urban Dictionary, which defines an asshat (or ass-hat) as "One whose head is so far up their rear end it could pass for a hat." I thought that was that, but as I looked around a bit more, I found that, as is often the case, things are not so simple. These people have had a rather extensive discussion of the origin of the term. Here is an array of photographs dedicated to discovering and displaying examples of parking-lot "asshattery" (be sure to scroll over the photos for commentary). This blog entry is dedicated to the great dilemma of asshattery, "Who's the bigger asshat, the Harley rider or the Hummer driver?" This entire blog is devoted to consciousness-raising.

The question of how best to represent such a thing visually leads directly to this, this, this, and this. Here is a modest request from New Zealand. And a business venture I could get "behind." Some introspection.

Later that same day, I learned that when my friend's elder son consulted the Oracle, he was declared an "assclown." Wondering about the precise distinctions between "asshat" and "assclown," I again consulted the Urban Dictionary and learned that an assclown is "A person who, while under the influence, makes a complete fool of himself while attempting humor. An assclown may wear an asshat."


Now, my question for all of you is: given that I agreed to make my linguistically-inclined friend this hat even though Oregon squashed Michigan AND even though he gave me grief about it, does that make me an asshat?

On second thought, perhaps you should keep your answers to yourself.

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