Let me tell you, my friends, how to take the perfect shower:
1. Wait three weeks and one day since your previous shower. During the intervening time, you may bathe and you may wash your hair in sinks, but you will never feel your regular clean.
2. Choose a shower with fabulous miraculous wonderful beyond your memory water pressure.
3. Use scented soap.
4. But stand there for a while in the water falling down on your head, before you break out the soap or shampoo or washcloth.
5. Take your shower in a house with a smoke detector right outside the bathroom, but do not remember to disconnect it. This way you are never certain whether your perfect shower might end at any moment, with chaos and loud noises and drippy tracks from the shower to find a chair and then try to disconnect the damn deafening thing.
6. Find out afterwards that someone did a deal with the gods, so the blasted alarm never once interrupted you.
7. Wash your ears for the first time in two weeks and one day.
8. Wash your hair with both hands because now both arms reach (somewhat) comfortably over your head.
9. Let the water rush down over your hair and body for as long as you can possibly stand.
10. Isn't that amazing?