Thank you, Clement VIII.

I suspect that you have not done enough lately to show Pope Clement VIII how much you appreciate him and some of his deeds.

Just two years after becoming pope in 1592, our man Clement VIII declared that coffee was NOT the property of Satan. He tried a cup, and he liked it so much that he baptized it, declaring (though likely not in English), "We will not let coffee remain the property of Satan. As Christians, our power is greater than Satan's; we shall make coffee our own."

Amen, Father Clement.

(N.B., it is acquiring such knowledge as this that begins to make up for the chore of working through a copyedited manuscript. Begins.)