Tuesday, October 26, 2004

God Bless America

I am amazed by how badly Jim DeMint, Republican candidate for the Senate in South Carolina, wants my vote. He seems to realize how savvy and thoughtful South Carolinians are, and that he is going to have to work hard to convince us how seriously he takes our needs.

Those of us who are not single pregnant women and schoolteachers, that is, let alone gay and schoolteachers.

What I appreciate most is how much credit he gives us for intelligence and wits.

For instance, the political advertisement I just had the pleasure of hearing over the telephone: it was obviously a recording (but stay with me--it gets better). A short pause after I say hello, a voice says "Hello, this is Barbara Bush, and I would like to encourage you to support our friend, Jim DeMint."

But those of you who have ever dealt with a computerized voice when you have called, say, your bank, know how they insert the numbers you have keyed in. "You entered SIX. SEVEN. THREE. Is this correct?," complete with unnatural changes in tone of voice and replication of that tone of voice each time a given number is stated. Or like when my gynecologist's office calls with an automatic appointment reminder: "This is an automatic appointment reminder. An appointment is scheduled for CATHERINE on FRIDAY at FOUR. THIRTY. PEE. EMM. Please confirm that CATHERINE is available for FRIDAY."

Anyway, this ad was constructed the same way: "I encourage you to vote for our friend, JIM. DEMINT. who supports our compassionate colonialist agenda of cutting taxes, invading oil-rich nations, and privatizing Social Security. Please get out and vote for JIM. DEMINT. on November 2nd, along with the entire Republican ticket. Thank you and God bless America."

God especially bless the America where political candidates assume that voters will jump out their doors at the sound of a voice identifying itself as Barbara Bush's, even though the ad is obviously a sound template that has been sent out to That Same God only knows how many Republicans, so they can pester voters with the phone ad.

The America where voters listen to this ad and fall for it will need far more blessings than any omnipotent God can generate.

That America might be ours. God bless it.

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